divided | ( closed ) and played my mind just like a toy;

After Matt's arm almost snaps in half underneath a car, Elena's not quite sure she has it in her to remain standing. Her feet move on their own accord, side-stepping bodies as they swarm towards the car and the ambulance that's come for Matt. She's looking for a dark mop of hair, hunched shoulders, and an attitude that sets him apart from all the other kids who smoke and internalise every little thing that they're feeling.

Her heart quickens as she can't find him or the straight shoulders and stiff posture of Isobel. Pushing through the crowds, she makes her way to the Grill in hopes of contacting him via his cell phone. It's her fault that Jeremy's hard to reach these days; as she became further and further involved in the Salvatore scandals of centuries past, she's been pushing her friends and family as far as she can away from herself. It's not intentional, but every choice she makes on their behalf pulls her away from their circle of reach. She hates how Jeremy seems to look at her and see a stranger, how there's a glint in Bonnie's eyes that still doesn't forgive her for what happened to Grams.

Call it luck or coincidence, she finds Jeremy in the Grill. She's not sure what he's doing here, but she sure hopes to block his attempts at moving even further away from her. "Jeremy!" she calls out, unnecessary for such an empty space. The energy's based outside, not inside for once, and it's taking her a few moments too long to grasp her sea legs. Making her way towards him, she pleads, almost tripping over her own feet, "Jeremy, please talk to me. Let me explain."

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Anna's pretty sure she's blushing. Jeremy has the uncanny ability to make her feel like she's merely a girl, susceptible to these feelings rather than being a creature that's able to combat them and use them to her own advantage without a slip of remorse. She likes that he makes her feel human again.

She bites her lip for a moment. Her mother disapproves out of fear of what happened to her and Jonathan Gilbert repeating with her own daughter. She assumes her mother might also dislike her hanging out with Jeremy because she's incapable of gaining closure on her feelings for his ancestor. Hesitating a moment, she knows she might come to regret her words, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her." She shifts slightly on the seat. Realising how that sounds, like he's some dirty secret, she quickly amends, "Not that she doesn't know about you. It's just … I don't like to tell her everything. I like to keep what happens between us ... between us." She feels a little shy at the end. Jeremy Gilbert isn't her dirty little secret that she's ashamed of. He's the person she wants to spend the most time with, and keeping that a secret keeps him out of harm's way.

For all of Pearl's apparent mistrust of him, at least she hasn't yet tried to compel him to stay away from her daughter; Jeremy's no longer sure that if Elena had the same chance, she wouldn't take it with him and Anna. And it's beyond frustrating that she can't--won't--even see the hypocrisy of her own behavior.

"I think my sister knows about us," he admits with a slight frown. "But I'm not one hundred percent sure and I haven't wanted to bring it up yet given... everything. I mean, we had a pretty big fight earlier today and she basically already told me that she doesn't want me caught up in this whole vampire business, that it's too dangerous. As if me not knowing would paint any less of a target on my back at this point."

Anna's not quite sure how to feel about Elena. She understands her need to protect her brother, as she had the exact same feelings towards her mother, but keeping him in the dark, treating him as if he were a child, only puts him in even more danger. Anna knows ignorance kills more than knowledge.

She doesn't want to say Jeremy's already caught up in it all. He has been since the day he was born into Elena Gilbert's family. Those close to the doppelgänger are always in danger. Anna learned that the hard way.

She doesn't respond to that. Instead, her brows furrow together slightly, gnaws on her bottom lip before releasing it to say, "Has she said anything?" What Elena does and does not know, what she thinks she knows, could be dangerous for the both of them. And Anna needs to plan for it.

( closed ) and played my mind just like a toy;

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i am so sorry ;o;