[ when elena turns, she ends up ripping a boy in half. his face belongs to a memory of a girl she will never be again; remembering his taunts of a younger jeremy, back when the gilbert house was still a hole, this kid's words would have jeremy shaking to the core. it's purely incidental that she finds him. her hands itch to rip into his skin, and she does the unforgiveable in pulling the flesh from his muscle and completing her transition by draining him dry. a part of her feels no remorse while another part, the larger part, is drowned in it.

she finds him somewhere outside of virginia, in a place she's never been to nor would ever go to. he looks like how he left; hair in place and suit crisp and there's not a single drop of uncertainty when she openly begs him for help. she cannot face her family back home, to see the disappointment curl in stefan's posture, the sparkle of pride in damon's eye, and the pity and sympathy that undoubtedly would exude from caroline. she fears jeremy's most of all; she picks fights with those he can battle on his own.

out in the woods, where it's abandoned, elena feels her senses starting to relax. the city, with it's sights and smells and sounds, is overwhelming. she urges to rip it away, to tear the flesh from bones again to simply make the guilt stop. pulling her out into the woods has her hearing the crunch of leaves, the breathing of animals hiding near by, and silence. the urge to kill is gone; pretending she is a normal girl is much easier out here. ]

So … [ it's too quiet for her; she's still getting used to hearing sounds she never thought possible, even after weeks of being by his side. his tutelage has proven useful, and she has found herself calming, feeling more in control, but a part of her is afraid and it is this that overwhelms her and keeps her glued firmly to his side. ] Is this the part where you teach me to eat bunnies?

[ her face is scrunched up. she feels guilt for everything, and love, the biggest pain in the ass of all, is she feels compassion for these animals, like she belongs with them or they with her. a child she sees on the street she feels overwhelmed to care for. the urges are hard to control along with the desire to give into the creature she's become. ] It's just that … I'm not really sure I can do that.