divided | ( the body heat meme )

Semantics. [She tries to laugh, but then she feels his nails against her skin and laughter flutters into nothing in her throat, nothing but a quiet sound that's likely going to sound pathetic. Is she this desperate for a touch that doesn't send her back reeling? Yes, yes she is, but it has a lot to do with who's delivering it.

Intentional or not, he's managed to put her on edge, and it's very weird to be here and not know where to go next. Raven of the past would lean back and shove her mouth against his just to test the waters. Raven of the past would ruin this precious friendship that's blossomed between them, warm comfort on a cold cold Ark, by running from it as soon as it's over.

Raven of the present, the one in his arms, she lets out that garbled sound and presses her face closer against his collarbone, inhaling quietly and holding her breath while he mentions she's not a bother.]

You don't know how much I wish I bothered you.

You can be pretty irritating. [ but not as aggravating as the members of council, not even close. bellamy's butted heads with kane too many times for him to be able to approach him without his hackles raised and himself already on edge. ]

[ a part of him knows he's misconstruing her — it's not on purpose, either. most people on the ark are a different kind of bother, the type that sees him easily wound up and ropable. it's almost rare for him to feel irritated into sighing without feeling aggravated and sharper than he usually is. he'd thought dropping onto the ground had seen him at his worst, but he's found returning to the ark is like slipping on a pair of shoes he thought ended up burned in the crash landing. ]

[ shifting his other hand on her back, bellamy practically cradles her to his chest. his heel skims along the back of her bum leg while his other foot remains still. it seems he can't quite keep himself as still as he wants to be, always intent to cause ripples in a lake that otherwise looks smooth. he sighs and breathes out, continuing his own thought moments later, ] With your cold feet and snoring.

[Though she doesn't feel the drag of his heel, she feels the way he shifts, and yeah he's absolutely incapable of lying still. Is it a normal thing, she wonders, or is it the restlessness of having to sleep inside the Ark again? She'd tell him she misses the stars too, can't wait for spring and summer; she'll pitch up a tent and sleep where she can't hear whirring and buzzing of machines and oxygen generators that failed once upon a time.

She has to pull back just to be able to let him see when she rolls her eyes, quite dramatically.] Like you're the sleeping beauty personified.

I am. [ he says it with a straight face, peering down at her with a tone that should suggest he can't be refuted for it's a fact. bellamy knows he's not the best sleeper on the ark. it's grown worse over the months, from the days he'd been able to fall into a deep sleep before the stars had fallen down around him with raven in tow to the very weeks where he'd awaken at the sound of a twig snapping beneath a boot. ]

[ he's not sleeping beauty personified, but sometimes bellamy wants to fool all those around him that he is. mount weather is as distant as the mountain itself from him. there's no way a mountain can burrow beneath his skin. even though atlas sometimes is spoken of as merging with his, bellamy knows he's no titan. and he's not a sleeping princess, either, even though he sometimes wishes he could sleep for days and weeks on end without interruption as the world waits for the prince to see the frost and even the death pervading it disappear. ]

[ he smiles, though, breaking his own attempt to feign seriousness. ] I don't need anyone to kiss me awake, though. I've got you snoring instead.

Your loss. [It's a petty game she plays here, or maybe it's just not pretty at all. But the challenge comes out of her mouth before she can stop it, and she even nudges her right knee against him, because she can't be bothered to punch him lightly in the shoulders instead.]

My kisses could wake up the hibernating, so you're missing out. [But it's up to him now, and she waits for his reply with secretly baited breath; hey, he started it.]

[ he moves his leg away with a laugh before bringing it back to where it'd sit comfortably against her. it turns out to be a good strategy in buying him time in even hearing her words, let alone letting them sink in. bellamy's been challenged each and every day, every waking hour he ends up colliding with someone who doesn't agree with how he perceives the world. he can recognise this for what it is, albeit he doubts it to be designed to see him cower. ]

[ looking down at her, bellamy still smiles, but it isn't as mirthful as it'd been before, laughing at her in his own insistence she snores. he thinks to keep that particular thread going, but drops it. raven's never lead him astray; he doubts she'd begin to do so now. ]

[ his hands still on her back, even though his foot moves against her bad leg without thinking. he's not sure if his heart pounds from realising he could hurt her leg without realising or if it's from what's written between the lines of her own words. his tone is a little softer, ] You sound pretty confident in that.

[Look at that, he is capable of keeping still. She's amazed, or she would be amazed if not for the fact that she's locked in this very moment, stuck between the lines of what they say versus what they don't say.

She's not a coward about these things, and she's never been, but this time maybe she handles them with a little bit more tact, and a lot less of the usual Raven bluntness. Soft though her tone goes, it stays steady, like her unwavering gaze.]

Do you need a reminder?

[ without her usual bluntness, it means it's in his hands. anything placed in his hands means there's a good chance for failure and disappointment. he knows he's been handing the two of those out in spades, although he's never quite striven for pleasing kane or anyone who isn't o. ]

[ but bellamy sometimes thinks he's disappointed raven, by either not grasping what he wants by the neck or by letting those who think themselves more equipped and capable of running the camp on the ground walk all over him. he has a feeling he won't be disappointing only her if he shifts and shuts this down. whatever it is. ]

[ his gaze drops for only a moment. clarke had run away from what scared her while he had run to it. he thinks it'd be hypercritical of him to turn his back in fear now. ]

[ when he looks up at her, his desire to feign obliviousness or even try and turn this more into a teasing exchange fails. his voice is soft, ] I probably do. [ he shifts his shoulder in a shrug. ] I've hit my head a lot. Forget things.

[It'd be a lie to say she doesn't expect him to shut it down. He has every reason to, she expects a soft scoff from him and an easy joke, and it'll be fine if that's what happens. She wouldn't kick him out of bed or tell him to get his thoughts figured out. They ended up here as friends first, she thinks, that one tryst notwithstanding.

So when he answer she almost misses it, almost feels like the blood's rushed up to her head completely. I probably do.

This part here, it's a risk. But they could live the rest of their lives in hiding, afraid of taking risks again because that's landed them in trouble before. Or they could be who they are, and let emotion dictate first and foremost.

Her gaze falls quickly to his mouth, just as she unwraps one arm from around him to cup the side of his face in her hands.]

Should have that checked. [She leans in, nose brushing his nose first, then her lips across his lips, the softest kiss she's given anyone in years. If she stops, it's because she remembered breathing is important. She takes one loud breath, and then crushes her mouth against his properly.]

[ he should probably go see the medical practitioner, but every time bellamy's had an issue, he's always gone to the mechanic instead. he's about to scrunch up his face in agreement, but she leans in toward him instead, halting his movements and even his own response as he waits. ]

[ he's always been able to predict the movement of someone else by leaning upon the stories mom used to tell him. it was easy to recognise a her wanting to be like heracles, as he predicted kane would lean upon another, like heracles had atlas, in order to steal a golden apple. but the love stories he'd been told hadn't quite prepared him for anything — there's the epics, between eros and psyche, hades and persephone, and the incredible tragedies, like helen of troy and paris, but none of those stories ever encompass friends straddling a line he knows he's fearful of overstepping. ]

[ sometimes bellamy tricks himself into thinking there are many people in his corner before he remembers there's only two who have never quite stopped believing in him. he's already experienced ruining his relationship with o, regardless of how temporary it had been; he doesn't want to trip and scrape his knee when it comes to raven. ]

[ when she kisses him, bellamy remains still, but his hand moves to her back to press his palm between her shoulder blades. he thinks to speak when she pulls away, but despite having the words to inspire a crowd of dejected delinquents, he doesn't know what he'd say at all. ]

[ a part of him is grateful she doesn't give him that chance. ]

[ his other hand moves to touch her face lightly, before he cradles her cheek in the palm of his hand. shifting his body closer to her, bellamy opens his mouth beneath hers, thinking perhaps holding her closer is going to rid him of his ailment of forgetting too much and remembering too little. pushing her away has never achieved anything. ]

[The inhale comes out as he starts responding, out through her nose slowly, like someone trying not to shiver, not to tremble with the weight of having made a decision and having found it reciprocated. She just gives; gives him one small kiss after another, deepening the contact with each one, tasting the inside of his mouth.

She manages to even ask the question without moving away from the kiss, her voice a little breathless,] This okay?

[ it's not okay to bellamy if it means he loses her — there's not many people in camp that he remotely likes. and even then, he hardly wants to spend an entire day with them. his solitude is something that he craves more and more with each passing day, but raven's managed to burrow beneath his skin to be one of the less irritating factors of camp jaha life. ]

[ he doesn't know what to say. yes, it's okay. it's okay because it feels right. no, it's not okay; he's terrified of it having a ripple effect that changes the entire nature of their relationship. ]

[ bellamy goes with his gut, though. his hand presses more firmly against her back as he shakes his head slightly. pulling away just a bit, his voice is low, ] No. It's not. [ and he rolls onto his back, hand on her own pushing her against him. he doesn't think to correct himself to say now it is — lying side by side has its advantages, but bellamy's need quite liked how easy it is to slip away. but he finds himself pressing his mouth harder against her own instead, thinking, perhaps, she'll find his correction with how he licks it into the cavern of hers. ]

[She's not going anywhere, and it's not just because her brace is buried somewhere under layers of clothes so the padding stays warm through the night. She's not going anywhere, but she knows it's a risk, and she's ready for him to say it and move on.

So, he says it.

But, they don't move on. He rolls on his back and pulls her with him, and she barely has time to experience a curious sort of jolt over being on top of him again, because he's kissing her. Oh.] Okay. [She'll concede, this is better not on their sides. She pulls herself up against him a little just to get the angle right, and meets his tongue with her own, shivering above him.]

( the body heat meme )

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