( closed ) my loneliness is killing me;

[smirks]

[ every week seems to bring a new magical foe into the arms of camelot. with plots to end arthur's life, or uther's, or even her own, morgana's beginning to itch at the skin for an answer to explain whether magical people are born evil or are just simply made. shame continues to always settle on her bones each and every time an attempt is made on the lives of the two men she cares about most.

she knows she has magic, but she knows she's afraid of it. each and every time a flame bursts to life, or something moves, or shatters, she wants to hide rather than embrace it. and while control is one thing she is slowly working towards on her own, she wants to part with her abilities as quickly as possible. she fears of what will become of her if uther happened to find out.

though, after arthur had helped the boy mordred, morgana's starting to wonder if perhaps hiding who she is - or suspects to be - is something she shouldn't be doing with arthur, of all people. uther's influence extends as far as the boundaries of camelot, but she wonders how far it has twisted arthur's own opinions. ]

Arthur … [ the following politeness makes her clasp her hands together. barging in on arthur in his chambers is one thing morgana does best - without apologies or asking for permission to tell him what to do. ] I hope I am not intruding.

Comments

[onceandfutureprat]

[Uther's influence does reach pretty far into Arthur. He's been raised to think magic evil, that anyone who has it will be corrupted, and that it's something to be wiped from their kingdom entirely. But he's also been trained to believe in a fair trial and that the bonds of friendship are deep and not easily broken and that he'd do anything for the people he loves.

Or so he thinks. It's never been truly, deeply tested before.

Arthur looks up from what he's reading, certainly surprised that she's stopped by but it's not an unpleasant thing. When she's not being annoying, or haughty, Arthur likes spending time with her.]

Of course not. What's up?

[smirks]

[ this is where morgana might quip whether arthur knows how to read, but she honestly doesn't feel like getting that kind of rise out of him will help her situation at all. taking a few steps in, she feels as though she's entering the lion's den; arthur's opinion of magic means more to her than uther's. uther is a stubborn as stone, and as ignorant, while arthur is still attempting to fit into his armour. ]

It's regarding what happened. [ you know, sorcerer of the week attempted to kill uther, arthur, or morgana. one of the above. this time, it happened to be an attempt at gaius; locked in a cell within the castle walls, the woman had sought vengeance against gaius for the loss of one of her children. magic had been her choice of weapon.

morgana tilts her head slightly, inquisitively. she's not quite sure how to broach the subject; diving head in is something she believes arthur appreciates. ] Do you think it fair she be sentenced to death for merely grieving still?

[onceandfutureprat]

Grief isn't an excuse for murder. [There's not a moment of hesitation there. He'd prefer if everyone lived but he's not naive enough to expect that it can be avoided. In self defense or the defense of someone that cannot defend themselves or if the law calls for it.

She tried to kill Gaius. With magic. The law is pretty clear about what she will get.]

She almost killed Gaius, Morgana. She's not innocent.

[smirks]

[ morgana finds herself torn; she understands the woman's motives, as magic has been looked down upon and labelled something so horrid without a moment taken to properly understand the user, but she also understands the law. a cruel act such as attempted murder cannot be overlooked, but morgana feels as though everything cannot be approached in such a black and white way. she is, after all, feeling like she's soaked in technicolour.

she approaches arthur, back straight, in a familiar stance as she always is with either him or uther. where uther can easily shut her down, or make her falter in her step, she feels freer with arthur to say as she pleases. he's not as blind with hatred and ignorance like his father. morgana expects arthur, of all people, to be sympathetic; holding him to high expectations will always lead to an inevitable fall. ]

She may not be innocent, but - [ she finds that she can't utter the rest of what she wishes to say, that she is not evil, can't be evil, because what does that mean of her? ] Grief may not be an excuse for what she has done, but neither is ignorance, yet we allow it to slip through our laws as if it were nothing.