[ as exposed as she feels right now, she doesn't feel particularly uncomfortable. her heart is beating as fast as it does in the heat of battle, though the cause of it is something far less violent, but just as exciting. there's a familiar warmth that rises to her cheeks and her shoulders, even her ears. surely luke can see how flustered she is, but she tries not to dwell on that. she tries not to dwell on the fact that his hand is still on her hip, his fingers curling into her side, or the fact that she still doesn't want him to remove it.
where is her armor? she hasn't lost it, not yet, she's just been hiding it behind familiarity and unfamiliar touches she wants to be more than that. she knows she shouldn't, though, knows she's already crossed over enemy lines into unknown and dangerous territory. but there's something thrilling about not knowing what to expect, not being able to predict what luke is going to do — or even what she is going to do — and being completely defenseless in his presence. she doesn't need armor to face him, and she turns around with a look of incredulity on her face — had he really just asked if she was going to be okay?
but then, without even thinking about it, her armor flares up, and she's on the defensive, completely destroying whatever kind of moment they were just having. ]
Please, Castellan, all you did was unzip my dress. [ she'd been so good, too, but old habits die hard. she's still holding her dress with one hand while she shrugs and rolls her eyes. she can still feel the phantom weight of his hand on her shoulder, but she ignores it and everything it makes her feel. ] It's not like it meant anything.
[ she knows it's the wrong thing to say, the opposite of what she wanted to say — but she'd been getting too caught up in him, she'd been letting him get too close, and when it comes to feelings, clarisse has no strategy, no plan. feelings are the one enemy she'd rather run from than face in battle, even at her own expense. ]
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where is her armor? she hasn't lost it, not yet, she's just been hiding it behind familiarity and unfamiliar touches she wants to be more than that. she knows she shouldn't, though, knows she's already crossed over enemy lines into unknown and dangerous territory. but there's something thrilling about not knowing what to expect, not being able to predict what luke is going to do — or even what she is going to do — and being completely defenseless in his presence. she doesn't need armor to face him, and she turns around with a look of incredulity on her face — had he really just asked if she was going to be okay?
but then, without even thinking about it, her armor flares up, and she's on the defensive, completely destroying whatever kind of moment they were just having. ]
Please, Castellan, all you did was unzip my dress. [ she'd been so good, too, but old habits die hard. she's still holding her dress with one hand while she shrugs and rolls her eyes. she can still feel the phantom weight of his hand on her shoulder, but she ignores it and everything it makes her feel. ] It's not like it meant anything.
[ she knows it's the wrong thing to say, the opposite of what she wanted to say — but she'd been getting too caught up in him, she'd been letting him get too close, and when it comes to feelings, clarisse has no strategy, no plan. feelings are the one enemy she'd rather run from than face in battle, even at her own expense. ]