[ clarisse nods, not really out of gratitude, just an acknowledgement of his movement at all, and passes him without a word, heading straight back to the bathroom in the corner. she still feels odd, using his bathroom at all, being that it's one of the most private places in anyone's home. she doesn't necessarily feel like she's invading his privacy, because he let her in, he gave her permission, but it makes her think.
why did he bring her here at all, other than she demanded him to? he could have easily said no, we're done, go home, but he didn't. and now here she is, in his bathroom with his clothes and she wonders just how the hell any of this happened, why they're even still going through with it. something changed today — she can feel it — and she has to wonder if he can feel it, too. it's impossible to tell if they're really on the same page because it's impossible for her to figure out what luke is really thinking — that's always been annabeth's field of expertise.
she closes the door lightly, setting luke's clothes on the bathroom counter. she stands in front of the mirror and hardly recognizes the girl reflected back at her. sometimes, she forgets she can be "pretty." she's so used to being rough and tubmle that it still surprises her when she looks in the mirror and sees someone silena once called beautiful. she has a hard time believing it herself, even now.
she smiles sadly to herself in the mirror, wishing silena were here to reassure her now, to tell her she's not making a mistake, she's doing the right thing, and that this isn't totally stupid and crazy what she's doing with luke, whatever that even is. silena was always wiser than she looked, and clarisse adored that about her. sometimes her wisdom was completely lost on her, but it always came back to her when she really needed it. she can almost hear silena whispering in her ear next to her as she pulls her hair out of the messy bun it had been in, hushed words about love and hate and beauty and fate. she wonders, for just a moment, if silena were here now, if she'd be teasing her or warning her.
she shakes her hair around her, letting it fall loose and then pulling it around to one shoulder. it's gotten longer over the years, out of a general neglect, but also because silena liked it like this. chris liked it too, but he actually preferred when it was short. something about it looking more badass — he did always have a thing for powerplay, not that she ever complained. asserting her dominance in bed just made things more fun.
she reaches behind her for the zipper, only to remember that she had one of her cabin mates zip her up this morning. no one dared try to say anything snide to her about wearing a dress or asking for help zipping it up; after years of living with her, they all know what they'd get if they tried. she tries to reach over her shoulder to get at it that way, but with little luck. she could keep trying in vain, but she'd probably break her arm first before she reached the tiny little fucker.
she takes a moment to stare at herself in shame before she finally works up the nerve to ask for help from luke castellan. this could possibly be the most embarrassing moment of her life, right after percy drenched her in toilet water when she was fourteen. ]
Luke...?
[ it sounds almost strangled, like she's not sure how to say it, and it sounds foreign to her, in a voice she isn't quite sure belongs to her. it sounds too friendly, too familiar, too afraid, like she's questioning the fact that she's even saying it at all as much as she's asking if he's still there. gods, she hopes he's still there — she really doesn't want to have to go find him. ]
no subject
why did he bring her here at all, other than she demanded him to? he could have easily said no, we're done, go home, but he didn't. and now here she is, in his bathroom with his clothes and she wonders just how the hell any of this happened, why they're even still going through with it. something changed today — she can feel it — and she has to wonder if he can feel it, too. it's impossible to tell if they're really on the same page because it's impossible for her to figure out what luke is really thinking — that's always been annabeth's field of expertise.
she closes the door lightly, setting luke's clothes on the bathroom counter. she stands in front of the mirror and hardly recognizes the girl reflected back at her. sometimes, she forgets she can be "pretty." she's so used to being rough and tubmle that it still surprises her when she looks in the mirror and sees someone silena once called beautiful. she has a hard time believing it herself, even now.
she smiles sadly to herself in the mirror, wishing silena were here to reassure her now, to tell her she's not making a mistake, she's doing the right thing, and that this isn't totally stupid and crazy what she's doing with luke, whatever that even is. silena was always wiser than she looked, and clarisse adored that about her. sometimes her wisdom was completely lost on her, but it always came back to her when she really needed it. she can almost hear silena whispering in her ear next to her as she pulls her hair out of the messy bun it had been in, hushed words about love and hate and beauty and fate. she wonders, for just a moment, if silena were here now, if she'd be teasing her or warning her.
she shakes her hair around her, letting it fall loose and then pulling it around to one shoulder. it's gotten longer over the years, out of a general neglect, but also because silena liked it like this. chris liked it too, but he actually preferred when it was short. something about it looking more badass — he did always have a thing for powerplay, not that she ever complained. asserting her dominance in bed just made things more fun.
she reaches behind her for the zipper, only to remember that she had one of her cabin mates zip her up this morning. no one dared try to say anything snide to her about wearing a dress or asking for help zipping it up; after years of living with her, they all know what they'd get if they tried. she tries to reach over her shoulder to get at it that way, but with little luck. she could keep trying in vain, but she'd probably break her arm first before she reached the tiny little fucker.
she takes a moment to stare at herself in shame before she finally works up the nerve to ask for help from luke castellan. this could possibly be the most embarrassing moment of her life, right after percy drenched her in toilet water when she was fourteen. ]
Luke...?
[ it sounds almost strangled, like she's not sure how to say it, and it sounds foreign to her, in a voice she isn't quite sure belongs to her. it sounds too friendly, too familiar, too afraid, like she's questioning the fact that she's even saying it at all as much as she's asking if he's still there. gods, she hopes he's still there — she really doesn't want to have to go find him. ]