[ to be honest, this is one of the most exhausting conversations clarisse has ever been apart of, and she deals with percy jackson on a regular basis. she should just walk away. just say "whatever" and walk away. but there's something keeping her here. something about him, something that keeps drawing her in, making her blood boil and her face hot. and she hates it. she hates every single part of him and she hates herself even more for rising to the taunt of his existence. he riles her in the best and worst ways and she really would punch him if he gave her more to work off of than petty insults. ]
Ever think maybe I don't care?
[ she really doesn't, not at this point in their relationship. if it can even be called a relationship. it's more of a relationshit. or maybe a casual pain in her ass every few months. nothing ever changes between them, it's the same song and dance every time; she can practically taste the stagnancy in the air. part of her hopes he'll do something different. as unpredictable and aggravating as he used to be, that's what made things interesting.
the man that stands before her now is just an empty shell of the luke she used to know. the luke that maybe she actually kind of cared for at one point. never like annabeth or thalia, but there was camaraderie between them. it wasn't necessarily a rivalry like she has with percy; she and luke understood each other, once. she understands him now, racked with the guilt of his actions — but just as she can't forgive herself, she can't forgive him, either.
so here they are, locked in a stalemate, waging an endless war between each other. clarisse almost wants to call a truce just to end things, but that's not her style. it's so, so much easier to hold onto the guilt and pass the blame than it is to let go and call it even. ]
no subject
Ever think maybe I don't care?
[ she really doesn't, not at this point in their relationship. if it can even be called a relationship. it's more of a relationshit. or maybe a casual pain in her ass every few months. nothing ever changes between them, it's the same song and dance every time; she can practically taste the stagnancy in the air. part of her hopes he'll do something different. as unpredictable and aggravating as he used to be, that's what made things interesting.
the man that stands before her now is just an empty shell of the luke she used to know. the luke that maybe she actually kind of cared for at one point. never like annabeth or thalia, but there was camaraderie between them. it wasn't necessarily a rivalry like she has with percy; she and luke understood each other, once. she understands him now, racked with the guilt of his actions — but just as she can't forgive herself, she can't forgive him, either.
so here they are, locked in a stalemate, waging an endless war between each other. clarisse almost wants to call a truce just to end things, but that's not her style. it's so, so much easier to hold onto the guilt and pass the blame than it is to let go and call it even. ]